WILD AT HEART

I couldn't sleep, and was to brain dead to focus on my research....so I wasted the night away finding out all kinds of thing about my self...that most likely wont make a difference anyway...but it kept me entertained. I took every perceivable free online test ranging between the parameters of self-awareness to demonology. It seems like the underworld and I are on par regarding most issues.

This test What's Your Relationship Destiny?was easy and makes me more desirable than the goddess of love Aphrodite. Please do understand that these test produce the TRUTH and nothing but the truth! I am a love goddess. There might be one or two minor details like that I would appreciate something a bit more permanent than a rendezvous...I really don’t know how all that wild at heart romance will endure with my current preference of wearing pajamas day and night...and the fact that I don’t bother with shaving for quite extensive periods.I remember a night quite a few of us crashed on the (huge) sofa at my sisters place, after a gig and in the morning, as I sit up, this very close (lesbian) girlfriend of mine exclaims "SIMMI, wha the...??? I thought I was sleeping with a dude", due to the fact that all she could see sticking out from my duvet, was my mammoth hairy legs! thing is that it’s not a political statement, though I don’t see the reasons why we should shave, when (most) men don't. To be honest, I don’t find hairy men nor women hot. I don't generally like hairy buts, or hairy chest, but if I’m in love and my man's got that, I’m sure I would find it the most ravishing hairy but in the world. If I had been just a tad more idealistic and lived by what’s ethically and morally right, I would refuse to shave for aesthetic reasons and wear my sassy little skirt exposing my legs 'au natural', but hey, its with a heavy heart that I confess to being bewitched by the patriarchal gaze, I really think it looks bizarre... if only I could refute it all. What if we had not been exposed to the male gaze and I still felt that hairy legs and skirts were a no no? On the other hand hairy legs - shaved legs, even poky stubbly legs hasn’t made a difference regarding hot mind-blowing sex. I remember the first time with Akira's father.....it was the kind of sex one dreams of , incredibly romantic, breath-taking, smoldering, aching, simmering sex that began in a public toilet and ended sometime after midnight on a mattress on the floor in my room, surrounded by candle light, school bags and half empty glasses.We met during our first year studying graphic design, he was 18 and I was 23. Afterwards I remember him moving the duvet to check out my 'toes', they must have been the only part of my body he hadn't really seen...of course I was more concerned about him scrutinizing my hairy legs, which he didn't even notice. I guess that shaved legs might look sexy, maybe even feel better regarding their smoothness, but makes no difference when fucking transcends the superficiality of flesh -really, most of the stuff considered sexy (on telly, the media) like famous; film stars, models and the rich..... busy carving away at themselves in their plastic surgeries, is really just a 'model' an object of the human body, a representation the human body. A pornographied body...which can be mildly pleasurable, but can't even begin to compete with a real connection..........were the act of fucking, making love -call it what you will, transcends lust and becomes love. I can't help it, I’m a hopeless romantic. See for yourself, even my reading affirmed it:

Your relationship destiny is to Have a Romantic Rendezvous

Wild thing, you make our hearts sing. Daring and headstrong, you know that the world is full of all kinds of adventures and possibilities, and you want to try as many of them as possible. Whether you've already met the action hero who's bold enough to join you on your travels, or are still looking for a soul brave enough, you're sure to enjoy the search. A risk taker by nature, you're not afraid to put yourself on the line, whether you're scaling mountains or falling in love on the first date. Sure, that means you'll get a few bumps and bruises along the way, but for a courageous spirit like you, that's part of the fun. How romantic!

............sigh